The End of Optimism in Pakistan

It is wrong to fashionably sound like an optimist in the face of brute realism and an obvious tragedy. Only a grounded assessment and a cold analysis of situation may possibly lead to some rectifiable steps that may consequentially generate a meaningful hope for the future. Palpably, it has not happened for the first time but yet again the state of Pakistan and her relationship with citizenry stands in utter disarray and complete collapse. In entirety and without ifs and buts. The more the national scenes change the more they look the same. The crystal ball offers a meek deserted and chaotic future for the populous. The daily grind for an ordinary person is now an unimaginable strangulation. This life is simply a complex web of social and economic catastrophes with literally no way out in sight. 

 

So foremost, what does the text book says. 

 

Arguably, the states have always been deaf and dumb. In most of its manifestations they are either brutal and predatory against citizens or grossly inept and neglectful towards them. The welfare states are far and few. A developing state which albeit is a sophisticated modern-day parlance for third world political economy typically has mammoth population size; complex demography; volatile ethnic or religious mix; centralized power structure; rigid interest groups that are unable to let go of their financial streams; unresolved violent conflicts; and is a constantly fledgling democratic order. It is not that all such states are perpetually unable to come out of their dismal condition however to take those mega leaps towards social and economic prosperity require considerable time, massive political capital, at least some unanimity amongst representative groups about rules of power game and a decent degree of stability. There will always be some states whose power structure is so designed that abject poverty is deemed desirable for those in real power and some level of conflict is considered imperative for their mills to keep on flourishing. The political and social appetite to plunge out of such nadir spot then becomes nearly impossible and constitutional frameworks can only be discretionally interpreted. 

 

With due exceptions, states are now no more super concerned about abrupt changes in their territorial boundaries through use of force. The land mass hostilities between states remain a reality however launching military campaigns regularly to alter the known maps are nearly over. This itself is a big transformation in warfare methods from the world that existed during last century. Therefore, the first constant is that this tiny land mass of Pakistan with diverse geography is all we have and it shall continue to remain so without much alterations in coming decades. There could be cross border skirmishes here and there on both eastern and western front however likelihood of full-fledged war is negligible. The mantra of Kashmir must be assumed as a broken record and there is practically nothing that can be done apart from lip service and ceremonial talks every now and then. Essentially, line of control now exists as a permanent border. The internal conflicts and armed violence are a different subject and they shall continue within. 

 

The second constant is the monopolization of power resting with those with whom it has always rested. Ours is a security state and shall remain so with rigid militarized character and outlook in times to come. It will not fundamentally change and the proverbial civil military relationship shall remain heavily skewed in favour of the later. There can be some occasional tactical gains but the apparatus and character of the state simply does not challenge this equation. The changed geo-political environment and nature of traditional hostilities has also extended the role of military into civilian aspects of lives. In addition, their mega economic interests are something that may well be accepted as a constant rather than vainly resisted. All major public policy decisions will find them as a stakeholder. Irrespective if it is right or wrong, legal or illegal – it is what it is. Any civil rights movement if framed without understanding the genre of the state and the ultra-dominant character of military are bound to fail. Some lone human rights voices here and there within a certain bandwidth will obviously exist and can be heroic exceptions.

 

The third constants are the heavily centralized and prominent character of judicial and civilian bureaucracies that also enjoy substantial power pie of the state. Their financial interests from treasury are also well entrenched considering the permanence they have cherished partly due to their inception legacy and partly due to fact that they are averse to any change and resist political control. The size of the state will continue to expand and regulation prowess of these entities will be on most facets of citizen life with every passing day. As the population gets bigger, the discretion and selective enforcement will also increase. Consequentially, the informal dividends of these permanent office are inherently linked to this enigma.

 

The fourth constant is the fact that Pakistan will continue to be a weak economy with heavy dependence on foreign powers and global financial institutions in coming decade. Internally, the state does not have any eco-system or qualitative human resource to create incentives beyond rent seeking and real estate. Most local money-making opportunity will only exist in and around public works or sectors that are favored as ad-hoc policy by main interest groups. The recent past tells us that any sectoral incentives that maybe occasionally offered by the state in form of amnesty or tax relief should neither be availed nor trusted. For local and small-scale businesses, the best ways to monetize will be to do middle man commissioning or be in perishable commodities trading and hoarding. 

 

The fifth constant are the old lethargic political parties that are also resistant to any change and are unable to offer any fresh leadership to the public. Their internal structures are rotten and narratives are boring rut without any exception. They will continue to function like student societies in a varsity and will be in competition with each other to win favour from those with actual say. It will help them survive rotational wrath of the state. In all probability some of them will either be in power or in prison. This poker calculus is something that seems to be inherent in these political parties if their leadership gain mass popularity. The belief in constitutional rights and processes will be circumstantial and their existence is imperative even if they are to exist as a veneer.  

 

The sixth constants are conventional pressure groups like nauseating media, nasty religious groups, annoying legal fraternity and high net worth folks from various sectors who sponsor and influence decision making at various levels of the state.

 

So, what should be the immediate and short-term solution with these constants in mind. It is clear that most obvious rules of game have to be consistently followed. While deviation from constitutional provisions will be convenient and suitable for many – an immediate call upon for mandatory representative system despite its relevance will at least help in quelling uncertainty. In addition, representative politics at least optically help in keeping maximum political consensus amongst major power players. This help to quell unrest, minimize violence and control social mayhem during harsh economic environment and internal conflicts. In addition, the single most challenge for state of Pakistan will be governance and managing lives of inhabitants which is beyond capabilities of existing state apparatus. This will only be possible if there is a localized decision-making process and governments at grass-roots are installed forthwith. In combating, high inflation, the best possibility is to endeavor and promote both high and small scales farming. Instead of excessive regulation, there should be more emphasis on contract performance and enforcements and expeditious disposal of commercial disputes. The property rights regime should be simplified and colossal inheritance battles be taxed. Emphasis be paid to primary and secondary education instead of public universities. Pedestrians be encouraged and public transport investments be further made. The debt recovery role of police should be re-assessed and crime control be incentivized. A population control and marginally better city management will help things significantly. These mini steps even with partial implementation may alleviate situation. Else, it is all darkness and downhill from here. The loss will be colossal and completely common without exception.

The Marriage of Mickey Mouse

“I would have kissed her feet in sleep, but

With such a move that infidel will become distrustful”

(Ghalib)

In fairly recent times when the national stage of collective wisdom of the people was set to deliberate and ponder over the continuing seizure of our capital by a retired cricketer and a Canadian priest, the Mickey Mouse also found its way in the Parliament. Its story has now formally entered the dusty archives of the old building that boasts the real power of the country. So there was this grey hair old lawyer who lambasted that always suspiciously stoned face Minister on the floor of the house for accusing him of corruption. A day earlier, abrasive remarks of the liability of a sort Minister also made the Premier personally apologize to the lawyer from opposition benches. These are politically heated moments – not that there is ever a low frequency of such in the state. However, this time when the democracy flight apparently looked smooth there came a sudden turbulence and a near nosedive situation with sounds of Mayday being heard all over. The condition at several occasions looked so much out of control that the western capitals had to respond to these emitted distress signals. It all seemed to have been gradually returning to normalcy after one rainy night when the drums were beaten in the garrisons of Rawalpindi and the top man from the control tower assured the cockpit that the plane is functioning normally and staying right on track. Nonetheless, the aftershock effects are still tremendous and an apprehension of stalling of this democracy jet can up till now be felt. Perhaps, what needs to be done immediately is that all the excess baggage should be unloaded pronto, off the flight, from the flight and without any qualms - for this flight is still long, heavy and scary. Whether it will really be done? Actually, sadly, No!        

The theater that has been going on the roads of Islamabad for nearly three weeks is now losing its oomph. The rants echoing live on air every evening sounds repetitive and without much solid credence. The cricketing super hero of the nation has used similar jargon and musical tracks over and over again. The audience is shrinking and the little that remains is lethargic display of political poverty hand in hand with ugly cult display by the garrulous pope. The charismatic crowd puller is now losing the grip of his fans, in particular the pretty and gorgeous ones. The old captain may be given all the credit for wonderfully developing this niche of attracting urban men and women of all ages and shades together without any segregation and offering them a political agenda and message, which otherwise such apolitical creatures dismissed all life. This trait is none that any of his contemporaries or political adversaries could nearly accomplish or claim to possess. However, he didn’t turn out to be a good thespian of the political drama. His container performance is beginning to look utterly monotonous and all the tricks he has mastered, stand revealed. Another miscalculation was his inability to seize the moment. Perchance, there will be many from within his ranks that may condemn him in private and public over his lack of political acumen and understanding to the fact that the maximalist price to sell is only for the purposes of bargain and not the actual one. Too long insistence on the maximal one and you also lose the best value in process.      

With both political and natural calamities hitting the republic, its nauseating impact could be felt across. The persistent questioning of legitimacy of electoral process and the government has created a strong political rift across and petty rivalries at personal levels particularly in the plains of Punjab. The urban centers of the province have been hit with flood of venom over political affiliations. Who to blame and who not to blame? The patience with government and arguably with democracy is running out and the pent up feelings of marginalized groups from the resource pool has been exploded. As a result, the government that took charge of this country, more than a year ago, with much fervor and confidence of gaining majority has now been crippled to stay ultra diligent all the times. It may now live for the rest of times on clutches of relatively small opposition and patronage of the old masters of puppet shows. The presence of usual suspects on the Container along with the Captain points the finger at those who are hidden but would always pull strings to insinuate that they are always in charge. This is a classic civilian retreat like all the past times and in no manner the follies of incumbents could be disregarded by a chance. The basic root predicament of the crises and what needs to be rectified soon is the insecure and centrally guarded structure of decision making, which is a relic practice of the past but still stands in place to run the affairs. A bold move towards holding of local government elections in near future would be a great step in the right way. The modern world doesn’t assume but presume a functional democracy for effective citizens engagement and progress. If a political order shies away from resolving conflicts and doesn’t promote inclusiveness of marginalized, the dissent against the system naturally becomes prominent. The consensus will always serve and protect the collective interests in a powerful way more than the majoritarian ones.

The gavel of the people for the time being has hit the floor. The khakis have also decided to offer a fresh lease of life to the civilians in charge. So be it known to all that it is better to voice dissent from within the structures than without. An individual has to give in for the sake of system. Mickey could be a man, a mouse or a dirty rat by a margin of day of the consummation. His marriage nonetheless is inevitable.    

Departing Springs of Lahore! (Progress, Politics and Passions)

Not that this city would turn mundane in other days of the calendar but the springs in Lahore are real delightful and special times of the year. This departing season was also extraordinary in many ways. As the sun now decides to gradually lift mercury level what will go in annals of history about the recent past times would be the unprecedented infrastructural transformations in the town including new crimson buses moving every now and then on a smooth dedicated track in the heart of the metropolis; loudest of noise in each street and brawls in every cafe about the upcoming electoral battle between the icons of new politics and seasoned political stalwarts; and lastly, most importantly, an incomplete story of an impatient boy and not so little girl.

So lets take it piece by piece:

While some challenge wisdom behind spending billions in mega cities on public sector projects like roads, underpasses, bridges and transportation, many urban planners would readily argue in a straightforward way that by making big cities bigger through development and better facilities, enabling conditions are created for commerce and growth of private sector economic activity, which then generate more jobs for the people and that subsequently carry dividends of progress to rural and far flung areas. Those who do not agree to this development model would emphasis that the opportunity cost of burgeoning demographic difficulties and mass level internal migrations have to be put into equation as well. An overzealous follower of a bat then might jump in and wail that the traditional rulers of the province should have prioritized the agonizing energy crisis – with or without federal support or fiscal guarantees. Likewise, an outsider hailing from towns beyond the lower banks of Chenab River may argue that even though this is a big city deserving prosperity but it shouldn’t have taken bigger slice from the financial pie of entire province. Therefore it would make every sense to further balkanize this land of five rivers.

In the middle of this entire pseudo and really intellectual discourse, millions continue to commute to and fro on the latest locomotives that are crawling up and down the long bridge. It is visible that the new ride has its benefits. But at the same time the unending power cuts continue to stall lives of these 10 million odd urban dwellers. Such remains the paradox here. What cannot be argued however is that the tonnes of fresh concrete and millions of flowers of all colors and sizes turned Lahore into a majestic place and significantly improved its complexion during this departing season. What is being argued instead is that whether those who revamped this city should be brought into power again or not? 

This brings us to the next matter at hand. A man who originally famed through cricket is now all set to test his final luck on political turf against vintage leaders who have rather placed conspicuous marks of their rule on almost every patch in the province. The cricketer leader has one edge against all others. He is the untried new man. Even if one doesn’t take into account his frequent recklessness and summersaults on series of political issues, his followers are adamant that he is answer to their prayers for deliverance.

But then not so easily! The professional players of politics are not known to relinquish their political garrison in a straightforward way. Against loud and opprobrious rants of the cricketer, his prime opponent has largely remained composed and unnerving in replies. The age can turn many into a sage. Every day, in almost a serene way, Nawaz assures massive rallies that the next term belongs to his party who was deprived to complete tenure by the wicked junta in the twilight of last century.

The plains of Punjab are visibly going to present political bedlam even if the erstwhile political party conveniently captures majority of electorates. The city of Lahore is palpably going to be at the forefront and may eventually decide who ascends to the throne in Islamabad. These springs have all set the stage for future of our republic. By most independent assessments, PML-N stands a better chance. Nonetheless, in this countdown to polls many other political parties have also placed their bet on Khan’s political fortunes to somehow get their residual place in power corridor. The Machiavellian politics is the only realism.   

And now something about the boy and a girl who fell in love with each other - as always boy more than the girl but truly they both loved. Each of their short and long rendezvous made their bond almost unbreakable. All boulevards, landmarks and trees of Lahore became staunch witness to the longest of times they spent together and series of extraordinary moments they created. The boy resolved sincerity and had absolute clarity in motive to make the girl his soul mate. But he totally messed up with means and became impatient and overzealous. The girl insisted on Jane Austin’s mannerisms and particular methodologies but completely discarded noble motive in her erratic confusions. The over alacrity of that boy collided with the otherwise rigid walls surrounding the lady that were raised in time from her past bitter experiences. Few mistakes here and there and in split of a moment, unending affection was allowed to turn into an unfortunate ill will. The good times turned into bad times. The girl wished not to remember her promised words and so many vows of the past. The boy continues to atone in so many ways.   

The summers have now arrived. The scorching heat may wear away the color of new red buses. The load shedding is expected to further deteriorate. The flowers everywhere will wither away. The fiery political debates would intensify.  Lahoris would expect that proper, peaceful and fair elections might settle this dust once and for all. The political worth of Khan would remain talk of the town in days ahead. For the boy tough times have commenced. The hope for him is to persevere with patience and somehow expect that the warmth in a girl would return and this blazing sun will melt her heart soon.         

The springs are no more in Lahore.

Causes or for CAUSE

The mental wanderlust is not doing me any good; when there are several forces acting at one point and at one time, the resultant vector becomes tense. Such are the laws of physics and I obviously have limitations, being aware of them is causing recklessness; far more than the desire to investigate their actual truths.
Presently, all my mental and physical faculties are eroding. The more I tend to solve problems or rationalize my options, blurred vision is furthered.
I have to get out of this phase. Some interruptions of good moments really get me going and it’s during them that I am more aware of the bounties, God has bestowed upon me.
Religion is important; but I am not at all interested to judge or define others with this parameter alone. I am an ardent believer of personal privacy and it doesn’t inspire me to be a preacher. Each time I come across a believer with acute mouth diarrhea, I get extremely agitated. Holy month of Ramzan fails to fast their mouth and it is now so palpable that more they explore their belief, less tolerant they get. Preaching is best done from every body part except the tongue.

Media, political tensions and battle(s) for power and religion exhausts my nerves. I know I dwell too much on them and mere brooding takes me no where. I want to be in the mission, not to save or conquer the world but to serve this motherland of ours in meager of ways I could. If in this process any other thing gets benefit, it is by chance.

For me it is not an issue that I will win or lose, live or die, gain or fail, but whether as a soldier did I struggle or not? The underline and primary job of war is to fight; till the last breath, till last drop of blood. I will fight not for victory, but for the cause and love of my home and land.
Pakistan harkens me and if I have iota sincerity, I will not wait for any thing any further!

Ye wo mai hai, keh jis ka nasha ootarta hee nahin
This potion (of patriotism) has placed me in a forever hangover

Thoughts of my own

It is perhaps another random return to the blogging, more an inspiration after taking a look at friend’s thoughts, rather than my own impulse. The only thing ample I have these days is time. Its no steady pitwork only some casual digging with a meager hope to find a ‘Resource’.


My legal rambling has been fun, I love my job. I really like ripping apart the hidden meanings of a ‘mere’ word, reading about legal systems, solving riddles of constitution, analysing 'offences', picking up mistakes of police, knitting (sometimes 'tearing' too), a spoiled family relation in the family court, soliciting advice to the commercial world, and above all knowing and diversifying my personality by staying amongst all sorts of criminals, commoners, and elite corporate monetary type. They are reasons enough to live forever. However for the world bearing the fruit is what matters.

For all my life, I have preached and over emphasized the power of money and economics; this even led me to have a short run affair with economics. Economics have returned like a jealous mistress. In the family court of law, palimony is a big question. Now in my real life, palimony is a big question.

It is such an uneasy feeling that how unprepared I was for these moments. I have to blame myself. It is my old flaw; posing and thinking questions of all sorts and failing to focus on their answers. I am looking for my trickle down and its taking long.

My non-rational replies to these questions are convenient; and for the moment I better stick on to them. Before leaving, God made this very clear to me that I am here on this planet for some job, and I better go back after doing it.

Judge and judgment

The actions and reasons of actions are different things. Similarly a trial purely based on the law and if divorces all other factors, become farce. Laws operate on the society and their interpretation has to be done, keeping in view the resultant effect of the decision on the society as a whole, before it stays forever in a dull volume of precedents.
It is the responsibility of the Judge to measure the scope of the decree, and a Judge who masters this art is really a Judge.
However, it is also important that this weapon must not be applied in each and every matter. The certainty in the law has to be ensured at the same time. Relativity overwhelms and the variables of a judgment are simply too immense to determine the quality of a judgment.
The administration of justice is a very delicate responsibility. The reverence, protocols, title, position and attributes vested in the Judge should not be taken as his mere virtues. Thy Lord has to be bowed because of the divine virtues he carries in his position. Before the society realizes his acme status, the Judge himself should wholly upright his character.

In the light of present circumstances, the blogging spirit has aroused.

Crises in Pakistan continue, but somehow the vigour to do something if at all, for this motherland keep soaring.

VICTIMS of VICTIMS (Curse of History)

I am always blamed of writing 'emotions' and 'crowd winning' reasons rather than rational one. Undoubtedly this comes from my sector of liberatarian friends. The other rightist are not ready to accept me in their camp.

The recent events have almost forced me to jot down my share in the ongoing war. I see the conflict in following ways.

1) Legally

2) Historically

3) Religiously

4) Politically

The legal perspective is clear: Hizbullah initially violated the International Law by capturing the Israeli soldiers and killing around 5 Israelis. However this only triggered the 'armed conflict' which was containable but later so ferociously the Israeli army violated the International Humanitarian Law and the established norms of all 4 Geneva Conventions. The indiscriminate bombing of civilians and non-military infrastructure was an utter madness and some barbaric acts (recently of Qana) do come under the 'WAR CRIMES'. Hizbullah also has a brief share of violating the International Humanitarian Law by bombing non military targets in Haifa.

Historically i am inclined to take the so called 'wrong' side. I can't forget the incapacity of the entire Arab and Muslim world to take on their enemy. The so cheap way of 'selling lands' to Jews and playing Poker in Aksa, with pimps strutly moving outside is a true muslim history. I also believe as in Quran that 'though we will not like war but it is bound to happen' and some decisions are only possible through war. The unfinished war inflicts further misery. Personally i really wished at least one war to have reached a final CONCLUSION. The battle of Siffin was avoided in the final hours by placing Quran on spears by Muawiya. Unfortunately the Muslim legacy of Siffin will continue, historically speaking perhaps forever.

Religiously, i simply cant bear the sight and plight of miseries of my Muslim brethren. Although even as a human its unbearable but being a muslim, almost unconsciously i feel pain after such events. No matter how much i try to ignore it.

Politically, it is an established tenet that the western world wants no threat to Israel by any state in the Middle East. In exchange they want to guard all their economic interests, and Imperial control.

Lastly i personally believe that Muslims should now accept the right of Israel to exist. Any insane military adventure (whether from Iranian boasts or other Umma interests) is insane. Secondly the WEST MUST understand that their is a HUGE HUGE difference between the REAL terrorist muslim organizations (like AlQaeeda, and other Lashkar, sipahs etc with global visions and more importantly less sympathy in the Muslim world) and Hamas or Hizbullah which are not terrorist but has a legal patronage under the International Law. They are not only democratic but also has a right to carry weapons against Israel.

Unfortunately the principles of Natural Law holds for all time, no community or nation can outstand its cruel test. Ignorance, humiliation, suffering, bondage, occupation and pains can only end once they are accepted. To be victorious ultimately, acceptance of defeat is must. Muslims must understand that their present visions of all kinds are not taking them anywhere.

Lets dare to accept the Treaty of Versailles, or even worse and come out as better humans (understandably better Muslims) after a thorough self probe.....................

I feel this everyday NOW.......Quite FUNNY

Time is passing quickly. I have to act fast, resist all my temptations and move without any interruption. Things will not change unless i bring it about in my ownself. The world cares none and in this brief odd life, i have to put up the best show.
The consequences of my failure are beyond imaginable and with each passing moment i can breath in its painful taste. Yes, I have found my way, long and full of short run troubles but beyond its serene and comfortable. The lusts of the world wants to take me away, and though i will succumb at certain points, but ultimately my unending desire to achieve the LAKSH will prevail. I will fight and this is a COMBAT season. Its no time to waste and sleep must wait.

I thank God, for not fulfilling our every desire. I wonder if this could happen, what would happen? As a law student and as a poor social observer, i believed that the gap between the theoretical and practical world is a cause of real mess in this whole world. To some degree, this is absolutely true. But both these domains are completely apart and yet linked. We are free in thinking all the unthinkables but limited when it comes to actual business.
What if the wishes of following would come true:
1) My wish to achieve everything without the present set of life style and poorest struggle levels.
2) A Mullah wish to turn this country into their Islamic State.
3) A shiite wish to turn this state into an Iran type State.
4) A sunnite wish to turn this state into a Saudi Prototype State.
5) A human right activists wish to turn this state into a Secular State.
6) Every Pakistani's wish to make things go his favor entirely without difficulty.
7) Our prayers in every pray, to have ONLY joys in life.

And zillion other wishes of zillion people.
I came to a bright conclusion that if all our wishes come true then no more we will be beautiful humans, we will become God and we should better mind OUR own BUSINESS. Adversary make our lives beautiful and though we will continue to be imperfect, its time around to stay in this world for SOME TIME and go back home. A wish chaser will be a loser even if he gets it.

Verily, Man is in crises.............

I like writing but blogging came as an opportunity with crises. Since the time i started to blog, my focus of writing is not to satisfy myself but to what others may like or want to read. Last 40 odd days will consume me to think about this issue too. If it is a forum for advertisment and the GoogleAdsense certainly adds to it, then no way i am successful in earning a penny from this. Secondly, if i want to promote my dogmas to others, i am so clear now that before you preach you should be preached. Thirdly, one reason of my rare posts owes to government decision not to pave the way of its ready access in Pakistan. Lastly, even here i feel like competing with fellow bloggers and in this process will kill my already wounded potentials.

Not self contradicting myself but the posts will continue to appear on this blog because it is certainly an active forum where people can learn from other's experiences and few others like me can narrate their inside.

*I am tired. For the moment its enough of this worldly experience.
In the words of Faiz:

"Apnay abao ajdad kee meeras hai, keh phir bhe jeay jatay hain
Kiya ye kisi muflis kee kaba hai jis mai har gharee zulm kay paiwand lagay jatay hain"


(This life is a bequeathed legacy, and we keep on suffering. Isnt' this life a poor man's shawl, where patches of pain are wooven every moment.)

From life to jokes

I think the funny part of life really comes from enjoying it. Ultimately everyone realizes that life is SERIOUS and if it goes even without a meager effort to help others, its of little worth.
The 'fun', i think is not relative and though its degree or boiling point may vary but the basic formula is same for all.
Fun and make fun is clearly a difficult art and not many will be able to distinguish between the two. If you enjoy the fun it is a true fun but to enjoy the "make fun" will come at the cost of "hurt". Although the hurt level of many will be unreasonable but i guess lets co-exist with them. Following instances will provide interest.

1) A cousin, Major in Army is too swagger but yet a funny man. On the dooms day of 8th October 2005 he was in Kakool (Abbotabad, 'one of epic centre) when the earthquake struck. He was at the barber shop, tied in a sheet with everyone around saluting him. The barber smeared half of his face with the shaving cream and then...................The earth quake, and everyone ran out of the shop but he in that funny position was dismayed. His subordinates then yelled, 'Sahab afsari chado tay naso' (Sir, forget your position and just run). He also ran frantically and stayed out in the open with still a white apron and half face with cream on. The entire Academy saw Major Sahab in pity and the rest are details. The best thing however is that he narrates the event to everyone. He is still a swagger and a Major with a funny past.

2) My very close friend for the last 17years got the name "PHAT PHAT" (from derivation of Rickshaw phat phatty, further derived from his family name RISHI) in class 3. He was toooooo famous all over and seems to be normal about it until one day last year. He got a job, prestigious and formal. Then the poor chap encountered the old enemy in an office meeting after long. Unfortunately the other guy forgot his name and called him sheepishly "YAAR PHAT PHAT WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?" Rishi is still a cool chap and never stop mentioning this moment to others.

3) I will skip all the parts and come to the core. "PANDHS" or Bards and the first state that should come to everyone's mind must be PAKISTAN (specifically central Punjab). They joke from all range. Personal, critical, very personal, abusive, female related, animal related, state related, society related, religion related and every related. They will make you laugh till you will fall. Interestingly they do it all without any formal practice, just extempore. One of them said at the first night of his wedding to his wife, after he sees her for the first time. "Oye kina hatorie warga nak hai tera" ( How hammer like your nose is?) The instant reply from the wife "Hotoree nal apnay kil thok lay" (Hammer your nails with this then?) I wonder if non-Punjabiites will feel by the way all these jokes happen.

The point i am trying to make is that the joke no matter of what form is interesting. A painful fact is that "THE MOST INTERESTING JOKES ARE ALL RELATED TO SEX". Now what do do? I guess more than defining the boundaries of the joke, the most important thing to learn is "When to joke, and when not to JOKE", because life is indeed serious and those who fail to learn this never become a joke but tragedy.

JAGO

Aooch!!!!!!!!!!! I am so embarrassed.

Ali Shahji jag jao (Wake up) or else...................

I only say this:

"Humain gehray gehray panioon mai lay jao

Humain oonchay oonchay parbatoon mai bhaij do

Humain har aag mai ab dhakail do

Ye tamasha ab ho ga zaroor

kehair phootay ga dur dur

or ab janchay jain ga

Oun mai kitna dam tha

jo har baat par kham tha

jo ghulam na thay

par afsos tootay to aisay

keh phir choora choora ho gaye"

(Ali ~`)

English Translation:

Take us in the deep abyss waters,

Send us to the high mountains

Push us now in every inferno

The show will indeed take place

Doom will now happen in far flung

And then they will be measured

How much courage they had?

That will ooze always.

Those who were in no bondage

But Alas! when they all perished

Even their remains scattered. (Ali)

*Translation: All rights reserved

Birthday.........AND THIS TOO SHALL PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs

26th April 2006, it was my 23rd Birthday. I feel no change except the fact that the resilience rush has declined and ebbs of all sorts mark my face. Nevertheless the way i was greeted by my family and friends at 12 last night was awesome. A special cake from loving sister and these days its her 'income' is what i rely on, when Dad's riches refuse to drain into my pocket. LONG LIVE MADIHA.
As far friends, Ahsan, Ahsan, Hassan, Nosherwan, Usman and Ehsaan came at 12 with a 'qula' (a long desi hat) and then smeared cake on my face. Later, we were off to have Icecream. Then came the real part. They paid Eunuch for a dance and 'kiss' to a birthday boy. Although she allured them sheepishly but we were few good men . After Icecream at around 1am we sat on the Jail Road near a Dhaba ( a real small untidy khoka) to have tea. Then we gave lari adda (Transport hub) and Shahi Qila (Lahore Fort) a GOOD LOOK. Real good look and finally by 230am we were at DATA SAHAB (Holiest Shrine) to pay him homage and for mystic upheaval. I came home at 3am and my mother then gave me a good harsh physical torture. That was one gift i received after so long.


Thanks to everyone who wished me on my day. I am so happy to have them as my very own. Greetings came from USA, England, Holland, HongKong, Mumbai, Delhi, Karachi, Faisalabad, Sargodha, Rawalpindi and obviously from every quarter of Lahore. I expected from number of other sources but to 'forget is a human', i guess! I GUESS ONLY...........

Anyways another year is over and this too SHALL PASS......................................

All templates were absurd and I was out for a change. So just thought of this 's---light' dark image and obviously no criticism about this will be TOLERATED.

"The best thing a person can do in crises is to MAINTAIN HIS SENSE OF HUMOUR."
(THE KING KHAN......no one but SHAHRUKH)

The Country i dream of!!

Here an article, although in Urdu depicts Pakistan free of violence, sectarianism and suicide bombs, in the past. I guess i really yearn those days i have never seen myself.

Only now i have realized that
"WHEN I KILL TIME, ITS ACTUALLY THE OPPOSITE."

WHY the hell they dont accept my points without someone Dead in history affirming them? Ironically, they call it a RESEARCH. I wrote, if not prolifically then REASONABLY, but no dead would be my WITNESS.

At the other front, blast in Karachi has also wounded my heart with at least 55 deaths and hundred injured. Its an uneasy stress mounting in my chest. I gasp for breathe but ultimately inhales mourn, laments, cries, qualms of this society and my further recklessness. I am a recidivist and criminally a QUIXOTIC. The gap between my theoretical and practical world stretches up and rounds of 'ignorant nauseas' dawn on me, each second. My delays are ready to terminate me.

Guns and Roses

Q. Why the sharks dont bite lawyers?

A. Certainly, because of PROFESSIONAL COURTESY.

The lawyers are notoriously known worldwide and i have no problems with it. The MEN IN BLACK put their curse on society, make others moan and mourn. Morality knows no lawyer and these freelancers will still threaten the world by the mere sight of their uniform. A lawyer friend joked that if all the lawyers in the country will unite on the Mall they will overthrough every regime, whether militiary or political. To attain LLB degree is the easiest job in the country and even "Munna" bhai's will have no problem in taking the exams. I hope the producers will find it more convinient and invest worthy to make a film, none other than MUNNA BHAI LLB. Interestingly, the movie was made in Pakistan which was a flop, not because of its script, actors or direction but because of 'no' lawyers in it.

Even at the literary front Akbar-Abadi famously said about lawyers:

"Paida hua wakil to Iblees nay kaha,
Allah nay mujhay sahibj-i-olaad kar diya"

(When a lawyer was born, then Satan (Iblees) said that God has finally bestowed a child to me....)


Despite the fact that it is the most loathed profession on this planet and no wonder so many people deterred me to enter the legal field, I SO STRONGLY believe that THE BEST and THE WORSE of any SOCIETY are LAWYERS. No one but the LAWYERS. They truly believe that there is no room in this world for MEDIOCRES. I like this profession for millions of reason and one basic reason is enough that God HimSelf has declared that one of HIS cherished Name is WAKIL (A LAWYER).

Faiz Ahmad Faiz said:

"Jis dhaj say koi maktal say nikla wo shaan salaamat rehtee hai,
Ye jaan to anee janee hai, is jaan kee koi baat nahin."

(The way a person comes out of the battlefield, arena, that glory remains for all times.
As far the life, this life comes and goes, no worries about it.)

Lawyers at their best follows this dictum and no other profession.
SALUTE TO ALL THOSE WHO STRIVES TO UPHOLD THE LAW.